The Real Four 'R's (part one)

a.k.a. the code of honor that I should have lived my life by

I have done a lot of things in my life. I’ve been a Marine and a slacker, a bartender and security guard, a landscaper and Jetski salesman, a supervisor in retail and a long, long time restaurant manager. I have had some brief and shining moments of excellence and long periods of mediocrity. It would be a lie to say that I have ever gone “all in” on a job. Sure, I’ve spent long hours, driven myself to drink, contemplated suicide, and nearly had myself committed. But I never gave 100% of myself to a job.

I’m the wrong guy to give career advice.

The best that I can do is offer some simple rules that might help someone else live a better life. Work these rules into a lullaby and croon them to your newborn baby. I guarantee he will grow up to be a great kid. I’m so sure of this that you can have money back if it doesn’t work. The Four ‘R’s Of World Citizenship.


1. Respect Yourself
a.k.a you can live in moderation and still have fun

Respecting yourself can take on many forms. Taking care of your body. Not abusing illicit substances. Eating right. Exercising regularly. Keeping yourself groomed and hygienic. Avoid doing things in public that you wouldn’t want your Mom to see on TV.

It is okay to break some of these guidelines occasionally. Try not to break them all at once.

2. Respect Your Neighbor
a.k.a. the world is a village everyone is your neighbor

We all have prejudices. We made hide them, even to ourselves, but they are there. Mine? I have always been quick to dismiss the slovenly and unkempt. It is a prejudice that I am aware of and making an effort to fix. I’m sure that you can think of a person that you have written off before you gave them a chance. Make an effort to change your instant reaction.

Once we have taking care of our immediate community, then we can address our worldview. What group do you detest without question? Is it the ‘arab terrorists?’ The ‘white trash?’ The ‘f****ts?’ The ‘n****rs?’ The important thing to consider is that these are not really ‘groups.’ They are people, just like you are a person. The deserve that same respect that you demand on a daily basis. Do you think they are putting you in a group? If they are, how does that make you feel? It isn’t just words or epithets. It can be a glare or a cutting of the eyes. It makes you feel less than a person. Exactly how they feel.

Exercise: Next time you encounter someone who you would normally not give a second glance, make eye contact, say ‘hello’ or ‘have a nice day.’ You may be surprised by the look of surprise that you see in those eyes. Somewhere don the road, maybe that person will pay it forward as well.

Tune in tomorrow for part two


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2 responses to “The Real Four 'R's (part one)

  1. Jason Poindexter

    It’s the seekers in Buckeye jerseys that I write off. Still can’t bring myself to take a drunken fan shouting “O-H” serious. I don’t go out of my way to address my dislike for their belligerence and shallow appreciation for a team based on the colors they wear or the location of their home stadium, I just shiver inside whenever I see it because it reminds me of the way some people were able to unite over a dislike of the melanin another individual was born with and the location of their birth. I know genocide and Buckeye football aren’t the same thing at all, but their blind devotion (chauvenistic; if I can make a word here) disturbs me.
    Eh, I won’t write them off, but that is my crowd that gets on my nerves. Still love them, but they bug me.

  2. Pingback: Four R’s (part two) « Soul Of A White Boy

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