2010 started out with such promise. I was in love, inspired, thinking of a future in a foreign land.
If it seems too good to be true…
It wasn’t meant to be. It took awhile, but she finally saw through my façade. I never meant to lie to her. It wasn’t a lie so much as a withholding of a vital part of my past and present. A financial hurricane that, while not insurmountable, is like an anchor weighing on any hopes of a happily ever after. I can’t blame her for disappearing without a trace. It was anything that a sane person would do when encountering a lifelong f*ckup.
Still, it would have been nice to see that Sydney New Year’s celebration up close and personal with a pretty girl at my side.
2010 was also the year that I finally escaped the restaurant business. The life of a restaurant manager is fraught with stress, frustration, temptation, workaholism and all of the other holisms.
Stress can bring out many different entities in a man. In me, it brought out the bull in the China closet. I was unlikable, prone to rage, a perfectionist in a job that is prone to imperfection. I made people cry. Often. It was only after I stepped away that I could recognize my bi-polar ways and come face to face with them. I much calmer, happier, and productive as a result.
2010 saw the completion of my third book. When I lost my girl I turned inward and focused on the writing. I reached out to an old acquaintance in a moment of complete serendipity and all of the sudden I had an editor and a publisher. The book was completely transformed the three quick massive rewrites and it was released in November. The release was not without its problems, and the problems are still ongoing, but I see a great opportunity to challenge the publishing paradigm. They will figure it out and get on to big things here in CBus. And so I write.
Last night, New Year’s Eve, was a chance to hang out with a bunch of talented men and women that are young enough to be my children. I cannot express what it is like to be in such an incubator of talent and expression. I step out my door and I’m surrounded with writer’s and musicians of all stripe. I have but to listen and a thousand ideas spring forth in my head. It is in that spirit that I came up with the High Street Soul Project. A year in the life of a dynamic street in a dynamic town in a world in flux. I don’t know what will happen with the the project, but it’ll be cool to find out.
2011 is teeming with possibilities.
I intend to finish two books this year. A thousand words a day (every day) should do it.
I intend to act with integrity, meaning what I say and saying what I mean.
I intend to live in the moment. I will work when I’m at work, write when it’s time to write, live when it’s time to live.
I intend to be a better friend to all of those who choose to befriend me and a better family man to all of those who show me their unconditional love. Who knows, maybe I will find the right girl to add to our family as well.
These are my intentions for 2011. I can’t take back all the things that I’ve done, but I can resolve to do good things in the future.
So I ask, what are your intentions? I hope that we can share.
Peace and Love.
Happy New Year.
Your Friend, Brother T