The Blame Game

“Though the surface of the water remains calm,
the fish still play underneath.”
~ Unknown

Each of us has a depth that other people never see. In fact, most of us are unaware of our own depth. We peel back layers like an onion and get glimpses as we go. But how often do we surprise ourselves with what we find? How often do we look closely enough at ourselves to be surprised? Not often enough. But maybe I’m just talking about myself.

Have you ever had something unpleasant happen to you and wondered why? Maybe a relationship or a job gone awry. Or even a test that you didn’t do so well at? Did you take the time to dig down to the root cause of why it started going sideways? Or did you play the blame game?

“The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.” ~ Robert Bloch

It was all her fault.

I was the perfect boyfriend/wife/companion.

The test was rigged. No one could pass that.

The company’s rules are stupid.

My thesis was perfect. The professor is biased.

I was the best candidate for that job.

He is just an asshole.

“I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.”
~ Aldous Huxley

Life is not perfect. In fact, that is what makes life fun and unpredictable. No matter how carefully we plan, we often have unexpected things happen to us. We study mercilessly for what we think will be on the test, but the one chapter that wasn’t on the syllabus is featured. We say and do all of the things that we would want or girlfriend to say and do, and that’s exactly the wrong thing to say or do. We over-think the job interview and say too much or not enough to get the job. We act friendly to people who don’t want it, and not friendly enough to the people that do. And the you realize…

…there is no how-to manual for life.

Maybe it’s just me. In my experience, and I have a lot of experience with failing miserably, I am always the last one that I blame for my problems. I’m a blamer. I blame everyone except the person who is responsible for the root cause of my problems. Me. I would rather blame someone else than admit that I suck. For those of you who have suffered from my shortcomings, I apologize. I’m a little old to be figuring this out, but at least I’m trying.

So I’ll make you a pledge, the next time I fail, probably tomorrow or the next day, I will look no farther than myself to blame. Unless it is some other bastards fault. Then I’ll cry “Foul!”