The Tao Of Brother T

a.k.a. the code of honor that I should have lived my life by

I have done a lot of things in my life. I’ve been a Marine and a slacker, a bartender and security guard, a landscaper and Jetski salesman, a supervisor in retail and a long, long time restaurant manager. I have had some brief and shining moments of excellence and long periods of mediocrity. It would be a lie to say that I have ever gone “all in” on a job. Sure, I’ve spent long hours, driven myself to drink, contemplated suicide, and nearly had myself committed. But I never gave 100% of myself to a job.

I’m the wrong guy to give career advice.

The best that I can do is offer some simple rules that might help someone else live a better life. Work these rules into a lullaby and croon them to your newborn baby. I guarantee he will grow up to be a great kid. I’m so sure of this that you can have money back if it doesn’t work. The Four ‘R’s Of World Citizenship.

1 ~ RESPECT YOURSELF
2 ~ RESPECT YOUR NEIGHBOR
3 ~ RESPECT YOUR PLANET
4 ~ TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS

1. Respect Yourself
a.k.a you can live in moderation and still have fun

Respecting yourself can take on many forms. Taking care of your body. Not abusing illicit substances. Eating right. Exercising regularly. Keeping yourself groomed and hygienic. Avoid doing things in public that you wouldn’t want your Mom to see on TV.

It is okay to break some of these guidelines occasionally. Try not to break them all at once.

2. Respect Your Neighbor
a.k.a. the world is a village everyone is your neighbor

We all have prejudices. We made hide them, even to ourselves, but they are there. Mine? I have always been quick to dismiss the slovenly and unkempt. It is a prejudice that I am aware of and making an effort to fix. I’m sure that you can think of a person that you have written off before you gave them a chance. Make an effort to change your instant reaction.

Once we have taking care of our immediate community, then we can address our worldview. What group do you detest without question? Is it the ‘arab terrorists?’ The ‘white trash?’ The ‘f****ts?’ The ‘n****rs?’ The important thing to consider is that these are not really ‘groups.’ They are people, just like you are a person. The deserve that same respect that you demand on a daily basis. Do you think they are putting you in a group? If they are, how does that make you feel? It isn’t just words or epithets. It can be a glare or a cutting of the eyes. It makes you feel less than a person. Exactly how they feel.

Exercise: Next time you encounter someone who you would normally not give a second glance, make eye contact, say ‘hello’ or ‘have a nice day.’ You may be surprised by the look of surprise that you see in those eyes. Somewhere don the road, maybe that person will pay it forward as well.

Tune in tomorrow for part two

sometimes i imagine
i’m the first man
to stand
on two legs
in the afar valley
south abyssinia
horn of Africa
mother earth

i imagine my mama
i call her
well…
mama
who is known to the world
as Lucy

miss australopithecus
earth mother
to us all

she shows me the way of our world

we breath the clean air
we drink the clean water
we eat the lovely vegetation
and we love each other
unconditionally

i wonder what I’d think
if i had to take out a mortgage
for the cave that we live in

i wonder what i’d make
of smoke-belching machines
in place of my two good legs

i wonder what i’d think
of genetically mutated food
that has no taste

i wonder what i’d do
if told to kill another
in the name of god and country

i think that
if I was first man
if i knew then
what i know now
i’d kill myself
so that second man
wouldn’t live to screw up eden

sometimes i imagine
that i’m first man
to stand on two legs
it gives me a headache
and makes me cry

From A GATHERING STORM (c)2006 by Terry Bowman
Buy The Book

“You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or a path, it is someone else’s path. You are not on your own path. If you follow someone else’s way, you are not going to realize your potential.”
~ Joseph Campbell

What path should you follow? How many of us have been stifled or made miserable because we followed a path to someone else’s dreams? The beauty of our world is the infinite possibilities that are out there. A child born into the world today can become whoever they want to be. Whoever they want to be. That is the key. If you are a parent, don’t stifle your child’s dreams. If you are young, don’t be afraid to dream. Your dreams might change, indeed they probably will, but your happiness is directly proportional to you doing what you want to do, rather than what other’s wish of you.

“When the soul of a man is
born in this country there
are nets flung at it to hold
it back from flight. You
talk to me of nationality,
language, religion. I shall try
to fly by those nets.”
~ James Joyce

Joyce speaks of the societal conventions that are thrust upon us at the time of out conception. Of course our parents want us to be a doctor, a lawyer, or some other professional. They want us to be happy and they equate happiness to money. The family becomes a dynastic line. Doctor begets doctor, lawyer begets lawyer, captain of industry… You get the picture. How many times have we heard of tragedy in this scenario, when junior doesn’t live up to senior’s expectations or talents? Better to throw whatever resources you have into helping junior achieve her dreams rather that trying to force her into yours.

“Follow your bliss.”
~ Joseph Campbell

Nothing is more important than love and happiness. Have you notice that happy, fulfilled people attract other happy people? It doesn’t matter what your profession is, it’s the joy that you take from it. As a parent, it is essential that you try now to guide too much. You child’s talents will reveal themselves in good time. If junior has a dream, make sure that he attacks it to the fullest. It is okay to fail, but it is not okay to give up without really trying. That will just result in a lazy child. The faux talents will fall by the wayside. If junior can’t play guitar, he’ll figure it out. He’ll find another dream and attack it to the fullest. The important thing is that he is chasing his happiness, and not the dreams that someone else has for him.

Until next time, brother t

“While Eeyore frets …
… and Piglet hesitates
… and Rabbit calculates
… and Owl pontificates
…Pooh just is.”
~THE TAO OF POOH- Benjamin Hoff

How often have you been stuck at a point in your life when you couldn’t see the way forward? How many times have you had a less than desired result because you didn’t focus on the moment? Far too often I have worried about the ramifications of the future rather than living in the moment. It almost always reaches up to bite me in the you-know-what. Winnie the Pooh always lives in the moment, and while he makes mistakes, he always comes out on top because he is in everything with those around him.

” From the state of the Uncarved Block comes the ability to enjoy the simple and the quiet, the natural and the plain. Along with that comes the ability to do things spontaneously and have them work, odd as that may appear to others at times. As Piglet put it in Winnie-the-Pooh, “Pooh hasn’t much Brain, but he never comes to any harm. He does silly things and they turn out right.”
~ THE TAO OF POOH- Benjamin Hoff (12)

Being an “Uncarved Block” doesn’t mean that we don’t need to study our world or think of the effect of our actions. It means that we live in the now. We are aware of everything that is affected by our actions. It is like invisible webs connect us all to one and other. An Uncarved Block will rely on instinct and ancestral knowledge to make the right decision without thought. Like Piglet, we are amazed that Pooh comes to no harm, but if we looked deeper, we would find that he was never really in danger.

“You’d be surprised how many people violate this simple principle every day of their lives and try to fit square pegs into round holes, ignoring the clear reality that Things Are As They Are.”
~THE TAO OF POOH- Benjamin Hoff

We get back to my original thought. Living in the now. Over the years I have had a variety of soul killing jobs. I have been through corporate training for a variety of different large companies. As a manager and as a Marine, I have gone through leadership training. There is one thing that has stuck with me through all of these years.

BE HERE NOW

The basic concept is to throw yourself into whatever you are doing. Don’t allow your thoughts to stray. Don’t look at life like a chess master, always planning three moves ahead. I don’t mean that you don’t need a plan. But there is a time for that, and you should go at it with all of your concentration. If you are playing with your children, play with all of your heart. If you are taking a walk, focus on all of the things in your path, the smell of the fresh cut grass, the rush of the river as it runs by, the riffle of the breeze in your hair. If you are writing a book, like I am, set a schedule and follow it, setting your laser focus for a predetermined amount of time, until the book is written.

And if you are doing your job, do it with all of your heart. If a job is worth doing, devote all of your concentration to it. Devote your full attention to your employees or customers. Make your environment as pleasant and productive as possible. If your heart is not in it, by all means search for another. In fact, don’t just search, but chase a new job like your hair is on fire.

When you friends and family look upon you at the end of the day, the nicest thing they can say is “Pooh just was.” You lived your life to its fullest and you connected with everything that life had to offer. JUST LIVE and good things will come of it.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”
— Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

Paulo Coelho is one of my favorite author/philosophers. His books have been read world-wide. Two of my favorites are THE ALCHEMIST and THE ZAHIR. He constantly revisits the importance of faith, focus, persistence and chasing your dreams.

“A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.”
— Paulo Coelho

The is a lot to be said about using a laser focus to achieve your dreams. When writing a novel, I have to set aside all distractions and focus for days, weeks, months on end to get to the goal. And that is just the first draft. I have literally forged ahead for years with only a dream of being a published author in my sight, with no idea how to take the next step. The actual publishing of the book has taken on a magical, mystical aspect. Serendipity is a word that is revered around here.

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”
— Paulo Coelho (Brida)

When we stray from our goal, lose our faith and focus, we build the obstacles that appear in front of us. The overused cliche is a “self-fulfilling prophesy.” If you want to achieve your dreams you must never lose sight of them. It is okay to misstep, to make mistakes. It is through the mistakes that we learn and grow.

My friend Jon likes to say “You have to start with a ‘why.'” Why do you do what you do? What is your ultimate dream? Is it a new car, a new house, financial stability, falling in love? Visualize what it is that you desire most. Do it every day. Take another step on the path. If you have faith, focus, and persistence, your dream will surely follow.

Namaste, wb

Imagine a life where the sun rises at the same time every day, the temperature is always 72 degrees, the sun is always shining, the moon is always full and beautiful, and all the people of the world think alike.

There are no car wrecks, no crime, everyone is well-fed, and a homeless person only exists in fiction.

All attend the same church, everyone says their prayers at night, and all are good and just and go to heaven.

Pretty boring, right?

It is never going to happen. There is no Utopian rainbow on the horizon. There are going to be inclement days, mean people, injustice, and unexpected expenses.

There are going to be days when you oversleep, when the car doesn’t start, when the kids are sick, when the milk goes sour, when the pizza is an hour overdue, when your team loses a game they should have won.

How do you react?

Anger, resignation, stress, rage, tears?

It is life’s little hiccups that make life interesting. Sure, it is nice to have a routine that goes uninterrupted on most days. You’ll have that one day out of ten when you run into a traffic jam or have a flat tire. Did you leave early enough to allow for it? How do you handle the unexpected?

I say sieze it. Make it yours.
A person is unexpectedly mean to you, give them a smile. Chances are they are having a bad day. If you don’t know them it can’t be personal, right?

The guy at the drive-thru messes up your order. How do you react? Do you lash out in anger? Do you call the corporate office? Do you never eat at that restaurant again? I have had all of those reactions. Now I view it as fate. I got to the window at the wrong time. I took the wrong route. I should have brought my lunch.

I should have brought my lunch.

A lot of the little glitches in our life can be avoided if we do the right thing.

We are an instant gratification, over-consuming society. We expect top-shelf service from minimum-wage employees and get angry when we don’t get it. Do you really need that over-priced over-caloried sandwich anyway?

When you run into that traffic jam on 270 do you get road rage? Did you give yourself enough time to absorb it? Do you think the cars in the wreck did this on purpose, just to make you late. Turn up the radio, throw in your favorite cd, kick back and enjoy the rare moment that you have to yourself. Meditate on the joy that the rest of the days holds.

And next time, leave a little earlier, and by all means pack that lunch.

Namaste, friends

wb

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh

If the First Noble Truth is “life means suffering” then how do we get to the Fourth Noble Truth “the path to the end of suffering?”

Life in this 21st Century has become a series of stresses that seem designed to perpetuate our suffering. Many of us work two jobs to make ends meet, families require two incomes to afford the strangers that raise their children, unemployment rates are sky-high, there is the threat of an increased retirement age, our children’s future might be a welfare state or a new third world, and we live life hand to mouth and paycheck to paycheck.

The answer might be a simple as going back to basics. Sitting back and smelling the coffee. Do you ever ask yourself, “Do I really need that new TV?” or “Do I have time to drive through the McDonalds and eat in the car on the way to work?” or “Should I stay up and watch Leno or should I get a good night of sleep for the morrow?” or “Should I have another beer before I go home?” If you have to ask yourself any of these questions, then you probably already know that the answer is no.

The path to the end of suffering seems to be simple. Surround yourself with good people. Consume less. Conserve more. Donate as much of your time as you can, especially if you’re donating it to your family or the ones you love. Cook your meals. Keep a regular sleep schedule. Exercise. Be kind. Do good things. Make another person happy. Smile. You will be happier, less stressed out, less likely to suffer.

on snap judgments

when you encounter a person
for the first time
you are seeing
only a snapshot
much like the surface of a lake

it is important to remember
that the lake
and the person
have incalculable depth

only through care and compassion
can you discover
what lies beneath that thin layer
that is readily apparent